Welcome to our Sunday morning Longer Reads section. It’s your chance to catch up on some of the more interesting and obscure news items you might have missed during the week. Today, we mourn the death of the novel, try to make it through the Fault in Our Stars without ugly crying, and pinpoint the moment Beyonce became the most important person who ever lived.
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From The Guardian: Will Self pontificates (in that way that he has) about the death of the novel. Fascinating and upsetting and very likely true.
The Hollywood Reporter wonders if Justin Bieber’s racist jokes will negatively impact his career (SPOILER: They won’t).
Remember that time Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch? The Village Voice examines our mass delusion because IT NEVER HAPPENED.
From tween fashion blogger to feminist editrix to Broadway and movie actor, Tavi Gevinson is embarking on her next project: being a grown-up. (How is that possible?)
The Washington Post reports on a project to send religious and historical artifacts to the moon for safe keeping, just in case, you know, we all blow each other up.
Hey. Why don’t we have flying cars yet?
Vulture has a spoiler-laden guide to making it through The Fault in Our Stars without crying.
Speaking of tears: Here’s a touching story in The Daily Mail about an airline gate attendant who brought Detroit Metro Airport to a standstill when she sang the National Anthem to a group of World War II veterans as they boarded their plane to France for the D-Day festivities.
Flashback: Here’s how The New York Times covered D-Day back in 1944.
A few years ago, Beyoncé Knowles was like any other record-breaking pop star in an already crowded field. Then something changed. The New York Times canonizes Bey.
Banana Facts!
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The New Yorker investigates how a raccoon became an aardvark thanks to the weird phenomenon known as Wikiality – wherein an error that appears on Wikipedia then trickles to sources that Wikipedia considers authoritative, which are in turn used as evidence for the original falsehood.
Near death experiences, explained in Salon.
The Stranger has a moving account of one boy’s coming out in Iran, where being gay can get you killed.
Is he harmless? Dangerous? Kind of cute but ultimately annoying? A timeline of Unkranian reporter Vitalii Sediuk’s red carpet “pranks.”
Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgaard has written a 6-volume, 3,600 page autobiography that endlessly details the most pointless minutia of his life – and apparently it’s MESMERIZING! BRILLIANT! UN-PUT-DOWNABLE! Discover why critics and fans are falling over themselves to proclaim him THE NEXT LITERARY GOD in New York magazine.
In Saudi Arabia, they’ve translated Frozen into the Arabic equivalent of King James’ English. The New Yorker‘s explanation of why they did that is more interesting than the actual movie.
So apparently “vocal fry” is the new “uptalk” – The Science of Us explains why talking like a Kardashian makes you less attractive, less competent, less educated, less trustworthy, and ultimately less hirable. (As if you couldn’t have guessed)
HuffPo has an interview with Valencourt Books publishers James Jenkins and Ryan Cagle whose mission is to rediscover and republish early gay literature.
Slut-shaming and class: Why rich girls think lower-class girls are whores and why lower-class girls think are rich girls are whores. In Slate.
RIP Massimo Vignelli, the graphic designer behind the cult classic 1972 NYC subway map. Read about the creation of that here, and read what other designers thought of him here
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David Lachapelle is interviewed in OUT magazine about the about the firestorm of controversy his Love Ball poster has caused in Austria.
PAPER magazine lists the top 40 drag queens in New York.
The Daily Mail has the strange story of the twice-married, 51-year-old virgin. Really. You gotta read this one.
The Spectator has a piece on how chasing the Pulitzer has destroyed American journalism (which is why we’re all edited by Brits).
Kate Bornstein blogs about the T word.
Vulture has 10 theories about tonight’s mid-season finale of Mad Men (my money is on Megan’s plane going down).
The New York Times has an an interesting picture of the young Teddy Roosevelt watching President Lincoln pass by in a parade. Not exactly topical, but fascinating for history buffs.
Speaking of history: Open Vault has the complete public access debate about whether gay marriage should be legal… from a 1974 episode of PBS’s The Advocates.
The DMV lays out rules governing how self-driving or autonomous cars are tested by manufacturers on California roads. Which is one of those weird “THE FUTURE IS COMING! THE FUTURE IS COMING!” moments we should all acknowlege.
Conner Oberst talks to Lorde about being young and “it” in the Times music section.
The Alternative Press has why 5 Seconds of Summer are more important than you think.
The Anatomy of a Look: Vanity Fair has the breakdown Angelina Jolie’s villainous transformation in Maleficent.
The Atlantic looks back on Frank O’Hara’s iconic Lunch Poems – “21st Century Poems Written in 1964… Full of pop-culture references, Lunch Poems has all the brevity, informality, irony, and at times chatty pointlessness of modern discourse without having been influenced by it… O’Hara’s Lunch Poems — like Facebook posts or tweets— shares, saves, and re-creates the poet’s experience of the world.” They are, of course, ABSOLUTE BLISS.
Finally, a bit of fun from The New Yorker: “If You Let Your Teenage Daughter Sleep in on a School Day”
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Always the optimist, Michael Musto lists 10 ways New York nightlife is better than it was in the ’80s.
The New York Times states the obvious: Being bullied is bad for your health.
So you’re still confused about normcore (and avant-normcore and hardcore-normcore and brokecore and florcore)? The Cut breaks it down for you. (Short answer: Dress like Seinfeld)
Trend sherpa Bradford Shellhammer tell Medium the 5 ways to navigate design politics.
i-D reflects upon the 20-year anniversary of the making of the most expensive video of all time: “Scream” by Michael and Janet Jackson.
Molly Shannon’s party etiquette in W magazine. Sure, why not?
History, literature, religion and the arts are receding from public life, replaced by technology, statistics, science and math. Even the most elemental form of communication, the story, is being pushed aside for numbers and data. The nerds have won. They’ve taken over the world. Now what?
New York magazine says it pays to be overconfident, even if you have no nidea what the hell you’re doing. (Look to Kanye as your spirit animal)
Andy Warhol: The first king of selfies.
Gift ideas: Why not check out the 9/11 museum gift shop?
The paradox of art as work, in the Times.
The future of fashion is 3-d. Duh. It’s the future of EVERYTHING.
New York magazine asks: How much French do you need to know to live in Paris?
Also: The things that New Yorkers do that stun Parisians, and vice versa.
and The Atlantic investigates what the death of home pages means for the future of news and the future of blogging. Oh dear. On second thought: NEVER MIND! NOBODY READ THAT! IT’S NOTHING BUT HOGWASH AND POPPYCOCK! KEEP IT MOVING!
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Isn’t it ironic? We were all wrong to sneer at Alanis Morrissette in 1996. Turns out she actually DID understand irony, and Salon explains why.
The Daily Mail has a piece on the Chinese performance artist who had a rib removed onstage without anesthesia, then made a faaaaaabulous necklace out of it.
The Daily Beast asserts that Hilary is going to run without any challengers for the Democratic nomination.
Tina Brown pontificates on how Monica Lewinsky changed the media and “midwifed modern culture.”
Vanity Fair reports that the Queen is backing out of royal obligations due to “heavy garments.” Oh dear. It’s the beginning of the end, isn’t it?
A fascinating review in the New York Times of the Charles James exhibit at the Metropolitan Costume Institute.
In praise of Courtney Love via i-D magazine.
HuffPo explains how #hashtags became the raised fist of punctuation.
For the love of being liked: The New York Times thinks you and your desperate, approval-seeking tweets are pathetic.
The Daily Mail profiles Irene Triplet, the 84-year-old woman who is the only person still getting benefits from a civil war veteran (her father). Not as sweet and uplifting a story as you might expect.
And the different faces of Godzilla through the years.
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Death & Taxes has the story (and pictures) of the dead New Orleans socialite dressed in a pink feather boa, with a cigarette and champagne flute, propped up on a bench during her wake, overlooking the festivities. So punk rock.
Speaking of punk rock: Dangerous Minds has a report on why transgender punk pioneer Jayne County was banned from Facebook.
VICE has an A-Z Guide to Pizza that’s worth your time.
Salon, God bless ‘em, goes undercover to discover why having sex in a reststop men’s room is so much fun.
And for the ladies: My Boobs, My Burden.
Vulture has eight up-and-comers to watch this summer movie season. All you need to know is two words: BRENTON THWAITS! BRENTON THWAITS! BRENTON THWAITS! OMGOMGOMG.
From New York magazine: Why you need to deep-clean your Facebook account NOW.
Be Aware: Brunei has begun phasing in antigay law and will soon allow Death by Stoning. Read more in The Advocate.
The New York Times has advice on how to calculate the division of rent among roommates when rooms are of different sizes, have different amounts of closet space, or get varying degrees of light. It’s called Sperner’s lemma, and you’ll never, ever, ever understand it. Just split three ways and agree to pay the light bill for the one in the little room.
What does Joyce Carol Oates think of Twitter’s “lynch mob mentality”? Find out here!
In Slate: Linguistics professors look into the science of beatboxing.
After last week’s skin-crawling lethal injection disaster, The Daily Beast has an article about botched executions. Just ugh.
And finally, did you know that Will & Grace‘s first audience didn’t realize it was about a gay man? Queerty has a great quote from Debra Messing about that.
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Vulture argues: At this point George W Bush is actually a better artist than James Franco.
Vulture also has a fun interview with Neil Patrick Harris about Hedwig, dressing rooms, and how he gets all that glitter off every night.
BuzzFeed goes deep inside Bryan Singer’s wild Hollywood world of upwardly mobile twinks and the men who prey on them, oh my!
Vaguely related: Meet the Hollywood screenwriter by day, go-go dancer by night, Jeff Tetreault, who tells New York magazine he’s having “an awesome dick day.”
The Daily Mail uncovers why the British are such fashion victims. HA! Also how trends are interpreted by the various classes, which is something the British have always obsessed about.
30 internet famous people YOU NEED TO KNOW.
And a poignant interview with a formerly famous internet star.
Simon Doonan just wants everybody on TV to PUT THEIR DAMN CLOTHES ON.
To celebrate Shakespeare’s 450th birthday this week, Harper’s Bazaar has listed the best fashions from our favorite Shakespeare films.
Frazier Glenn Miller, the former KKK leader and anti-Semitic murderer, was once arrested with a black, cross-dressing hooker. The Daily Beast says that according to psychology and history, it’s not that surprising.
Slate has the poignant story of a daughter and the gay father she never knew.
Why Joan Rivers, Madonna, and, um, “OTHER CELEBRITIES” don’t owe you an apology, in Salon.
and The New York Times listens in as Liz Smith and Jess Cagel (of People and Entertainment Weekly) dish on just about everyone from Jackie O to Kim K.
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David Foster Wallace long ago warned that irony is ruining our culture. Salon thinks we ought to have listened.
Dame magazine reports that trans semantics is causing an uproar within the community, but is language REALLY the issue here?
Slate explores the science behind Transcendence. So… when will be able to upload Johnny Depp’s brain? And, more importantly, why would we want to?
After James Franco called the New York Times theater critic “a little bitch” on Instagram for giving his performance in Of Mice & Men a bad review, The Guardian says we have now entered into a new age of counter-criticism.
The Daily Beast tallies up every woman Don Draper has ever slept with.
And Vulture asks a serial killer expert to analyze every episode of Mad Men for links to the Manson Family murders (because OBVIOUSLY Megan is about to be killed by them).
Alice Hoffman has some… um… out-of-the-box suggestions for getting you started on that novel you’ve been meaning to write.
Newsweek reports on how Laverne Cox transformed the audience at the GLAAD Awards.
New York magazine announces that we have reached “Peak Beard Saturation” and has the scientific proof the trend is is OVER.
A lengthy piece on Cartoon Network’s iconic Adventure Time declares it is a “deeply serious work of moral philosophy, a rip-roaring comic masterpiece, and a meditation on gender politics and love in the modern world. It is rich with moments of tenderness and confusion, and real terror and grief even; moments sometimes more resonant and elementally powerful than you experience in a good novel.” And I thought it was just fun to watch in a k-hole.
The New York Times obituary for Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and over at Slate: What he meant to the people of Colombia (and why we can never TRULY get his novels).
Also in the Times: The complicated life of one of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s heroin connections.
Salon exposes Leonardo DiCaprio’s DARKEST SECRET: He’s actually deeply uncool.
Newsweek has earthshattering nerd news: Dick Grayson ISN’T DEAD after all! The former Robin-turned-Nightwing-turned-Batman (for a period) has gone deeeeep undercover and become… a secret agent? Yep, he’s basically Archer now. Greeeeeat move, DC.
Oh My Gah. Going braless is SO NORMCORE.
And finally, a rather salacious article in The Daily Beast goes inside Bryan Singer’s infamous twink pool parties. I saved it for last because you’re going to need a Silkwood shower after reading it.
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OMGOMGOMG! An interview with Brienne of Tarth! An interview with Brienne of Tarth! Game of Thrones star Gwendolyn Christie talks to IGN on the new challenges her character faces now that her quest with Janie Lannister has ended.
Have you heard about the cherry tree that was raised on the space station and stunned scientists by blooming six years earlier than it would on earth? Read about the far-reaching implications of that in the Daily Mail.
From Dior’s New Look to Bianca Jagger’s birthday party at Studio 54, Harper’s Bazaar has the most iconic moments in fashion history.
The Geldofs were Britain’s first celebrity family, long before the Osbournes and the Beckhams. The death of Peaches is the latest cruel twist in a tragedy the nation has watched unfold for decades. The Guardian tells the tale of one family’s epic suffering for Americans who don’t understand the fuss.
Mickey Rooney gave his life to show biz, the least you can do is read his obit in the Florida Sun Sentinal.
The Daily Beast implores you: For God’s sakes, don’t remember Barbara Walters for The View.
OMGOMGOMG! You MUST READ this investigative report about why people loathe “upworthy” headlines. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
From Brandon Teena in Boys Don’t Cry to Swan in The Warriors – Dazed Digital ranks the most rebellious screen icons of all time
Salon debunks the myths of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Slate has some data on how Hilary could make a difference.
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In boingboing: Filmmaker, writer, and trans activist Andrea James writes about LGBT reactionaries throwing drag queens under the bus for “transphobic language” and the growing rift between the drag, gay, and trans communities.
Trans icon Calpernia Addams passionately sounds off on the same subject in the Huffington Post.
In The Atlantic: Scientists create Mars-like community in Hawaii to see if astronauts will get SPACE MADNESS when we begin colonizing it in the ’30s.
A fascinating tribute to the lasting legacy of DJ Frankie Knuckles, the Godfather of House music in The LA Times.
Moby reminisces about Klaus Nomi, the ’80s club scene, and the ’90s rave drugs in Vulture.
Just how risky is oral sex? Find out here. (The answer might surprise you)
The Daily Star says the comedian Jonathan Ross is starting his hunt for Britain’s Next Drag Superstar…
Noah is just the latest film to earn the wrath of the Christian right. Read about five other blasphemous movies in Salon.
Then read: The 10 Weirdest Things the Christian Right Thinks Will Turn Your Kids Gay.
From Slate‘s advice column: “Dear Prudence: My twin brother had a one-night stand with a girl, gave her my name and number as joke, then she and I started dating. We’re engaged now, should I tell her the truth?”
Gen X catastrophe in the making: How the coming inheritance boom is going to DESTROY THE NATION.
Slate asks: How do we instill journalistic ethics into our robot reporters?
The New York Times decrees that mankind is inherently spiteful, but you know what? That’s a GOOD thing!
A fun Q & A with Cyndi Lauper in The Guardian.
BBC News: A French couple has gathered a thousand on-line fan tributes to Pharrell’s “Happy”
So the Black Death wasn’t really the Bubonic plague after all? Read the new theories in Slate.
Swoonworthy rates the top ten hunks of Game of Thrones. (Grey Worm should have scored higher, just sayin’)
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Always tackling the most important stories of the day, HuffPo has 19 Very Real Struggles of Women with Big Butts.
The much buzzed-about New York Post article: “L’Wren Scott’s Suicide Reveals Tragic Side of City’s Glitzy Scene.”
Slate uses music theory to explain the genius of Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” (Maybe next year they’ll tackle why “Happy” is so goddamn annoying).
Nile Rogers writes about Studio 54, Grace Jones, and the Disco backlash in New York magazine.
From Salon: Why Entertainment Weekly‘s decision to start paying writers with “prestige” rather than, you know, actual money is terrible for both writers and readers (and does not bode well for the future of pop culture).
Also in Salon: Why Gwyneth Paltrow’s utterly obnoxious “conscious uncoupling” letter proves she’s the last, great star, “worthy of the legacy of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.”
Mental Floss investigates: Is the Five-Second Rule real?
The New York Times says millennials in the work place are shallow, callow, unmotivated, and undependable… just like every generation since the middle ages.
Also in the Times: Exploring the Salton Sea, the Sunken City and other modern ruins of Southern California.
Lead singer of cult metal band GWAR David Brockie aka Oderus Urungus found dead at 50. Read about it in Rolling Stone and Daily Mail.
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Nickelback, Smash Mouth, Goo Goo Dolls: Salon has the 15 most hated bands of the last 30 years. (But no fun.? No Mumford & Sons? I demand a recount!)
The must-have coffee table book of 2014 about the mob hit men of Murder Inc. will cost you exactly $4,200. But YOWZA, what a book! Read about it in the New York Times.
Washington Post has a fascinating obituary of the villanous Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps.
And HuffPo has the LGBT reaction to his death.
Arkansas school doubles down on decision to ban gay student’s coming out story in yearbook.
For all you hardcore Benson fans out there (you know who you are), Salon has the answer to how the series was supposed to end.
For when you absolutely need purple pleather harem pants on the run: Fashion trucks are about to become ALL THE RAGE.
Coming soon to the Great White Way: James Franco and Chris O’Dowdare reimagine Of Mice & Men as a bromantic comedy
Absolutely riveting video (if you’re into this sort of thing): Alexander Wang, Prabal Garung and Eddie Borgo analyze the concept of style at the SCADstyle 2014 conference. At Style.com
Liza Minnelli talks to the LA Times about Ellen, that blue streak, and her new show.
Why Ruth Bader Ginsburg must NEVER EVER retire from the Supreme Court in Slate.
Of Hippos and Kings: Archeologist and anthropologist Eric H Cline has a new book called 1177 B.C.: The Year Civilization Collapsed, and it sounds remarkably like today.. Read the review in the New Yorker.
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Air & Space magazine magazine has a fascinating article about a 727 airline that vanished from Angola in 2003.
Daily Mail claims that the pilot of missing Flight MH370 was a political fanatic. This comes as police are investigating the possibility that he hijacked his own aircraft in a bizarre political protest.
OK, so we all think Flight 727 was hijacked, but just in case that gets disproven, New York magazine has other theories ranging from mechanical failure to alien abduction.
Kitty Genovese, whose 1964 rape and murder was witnessed by 37 bystanders who DID NOTHING, became a symbol about the unravelling of society, racial fears, and the lack of care exhibited by city dwellers for their neighbors. Now Off the Grid reports that Kitty was a lesbian. Did that have something to do with her neighbors’ responses (or lack thereof)?
The New York Times writes about the growing transgender presence in pop culture, talking to icons-in-the-making Laverne Cox, Janet Mock and wowlebrity Zachary Drucker.
Has the tv-star-to-movie-star career trajectory become outmoded? Vulture thinks so.
Why Mel Gibson deserves a second chance: Deadline pleads his case.
Salon has an expose on how to behave at an orgy.
10 famous geniuses and their drugs of choice, also at Salon.
One man’s mission to name an island after Busta Rhymes in Slate.
LAST WEEK’S LONGER READS:
What the hell happend to Jay McInerney? Slate examines the ’80s literary superstar’s unrealized potential.
Finally, someone details the difference between Death Metal and Black Metal.
The Independent examines the culture of rape in men’s prisons.
Semen allergies, broken penises, and spontaneous orgasms: Salon has six weird consequences of sex they don’t teach you in sex ed.
The New York Times Style section has a breathless investigation into the return of the monocle as the fashion accessory du jour for hipsters.
Slate has a bit of fun with Beyond the Monocle: Five Ideas for Future New York Times Hipster Trend Pieces including ruffs, powdered wigs, and plague doctor masks. Which, of course, I was wearing before they were cool.
The Guardian has grim news for authors: Not even award-winning best-selling authors are making money in publishing anymore.
Nightclubbing 101: An oral history of New York’s Pyramid Club as told by the trailblazing drag queens and performance artists who performed there.
Is belly dancing racist? Salon decrees it so.
The New Yorker has a humorous piece about 59-year-olds who look down their noses on 56-year-olds. Insolent pups!
PREVIOUS LONGER READS:
Sunday, March 2, 2014:
The inimitable Cindy Adams predicts tonight’s Oscars, as only Cindy can.
Who thanks who at the Oscars (No surprise: Meryl gets thanked more than God)
The Guardian has a piece imploring Academy voters not to give the Oscar to the documentary The Act of Killing (in which Indonesia’s political mass-murderers restage their slaughters).
The brilliant Douglas Rushkoff writes in Politico: “How Technology Killed the Future”
Slate has the 19 most common questions a trans person is asked.
The Atlantic has a fascinating interview with trans activist and memoirist Janet Mock.
New York magazine asserts the latest sartorial rage among hipsters is Normcore: the dad-brand non-style you might have once associated with Jerry Seinfeld.
Riveting stuff: Furniture shopping habits of the rich and famous at Salon.
Gawker profiles the adorable 101-year-old man who’s running for Congress, and really ought to win.
Fascinating article in The Economist about the controversial heroin treatment used in Switzerland and the Netherlands which sets up safe sites where users can inject while monitored by health-care staff and – in some cases – provides heroin itself free.
An investigation at Slate into the impenetrable time signature of The Terminator‘s musical score. Honestly, I wouldn’t mention it if I didn’t think it was REALLY INTERESTING.
W has a piece on venerable downtown fashion designer Andre Walker’s comeback. I still kick myself EVERY DAY for not buying some of those cookie-cutter outfits back in 1985 when I had the chance. STUPID JAMES!
The New Yorker translates what Ted Nugent was really trying to say when he called President Obama a “subhuman mongrel.”
Slate covers an exhibit at the National Museum of Australia showcasing convict love tokens – coins that had been smoothed over and then engraved with messages that prisoners gave to their sweethearts before leaving for penal colonies in Australia in the 18th and 19th century.
And finally, the Daily Beast has an update on Michael Alig and his post-prison plans.
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Lauren Pollack Gellert
