December 26, 1956: David Sedaris:
“Shit is the tofu of cursing.”
I don’t recall what brought me to pick-up that hardback copy of Barrel Fever. With its iconic Chip Kidd designed cover, at my favorite bookstore, M Coy Books, in downtown Seattle in 1995. Remember bookstores? I am not an NPR listener (I like my radio to play Rock N’ Roll, please), so Sedaris was unfamiliar to me at this point. I do remember that The Husband read it first. I heard him crying with laughter as he read straight through it from the top of our loft bedroom. I was afraid he would fall down the ladder when he descended with the book in hand. The Husband: “Really, I believe this is the funniest thing I have ever read… it is called The Santaland Diaries. You have to read it right now, this very minute!”
We were off & away in Sedaris-land. I bought each of the next books, in hardcover, on the day they came out. I would dog-ear his pieces in The New Yorker. I would eventually extend my love for Sedaris to his boyfriend, Hugh Hamrick, & his insanely funny sister, Amy Sedaris.
“7 beers followed by 2 Scotches & a thimble of marijuana & it’s funny how sleep comes all on its own.”
Recalling his high school days in Raleigh, North Carolina, telling tales of his zany family, or life at their house in Normandy or the place in England with Hugh, Sedaris always writes in his unique voice about the absurdities of life. He has a remarkable ability to find the humor in situations that are melancholy, peculiar, or dire.
Sedaris possesses a wicked wit that speaks to me in ways I never thought possible. A perfect day? A summer afternoon on Sauvie Island outside of Portland, naked on a blanket, with a thermos of lemonade & vodka & a brand new David Sedaris tome.
“My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are & you’re likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the 200 political buttons they wear pinned to their coats & knapsacks.”
In the terrific, must-watch new documentary Do I Sound Gay?, filmmaker David Thorpe deftly explores the relationship gay men have with their voices. The film includes interviews, professional vocal coaches, speech pathologists & gay celebrities, including an hysterical section featuring Sedaris & Hamrick. Even if Hamrick does not sound convincingly butch, Sedaris may have one of gayest sounding voices this side of Truman Capote.
Of his partner of 25+ years, Sedaris writes:
“Hugh & I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to engage in physical combat. Once, he hit me on the back of the head with a broken wineglass, & I fell to the floor pretending to be unconscious. That was romantic, or would have been had he rushed to my side rather than stepping over my body to fetch the dustpan.”
Ironic that Sedaris has a birthday on the day after Christmas. The adaptation of his classic Santaland Diaries has become a Holiday staple for regional & community theatres, replacing seeing a production of A Christmas Carol as a family tradition. I finally was able to hear Sedaris’s own version on NPR when I was receiving chemotherapy at Christmas 2013. His voice is gay perfection.
In the September 28th issue of The New Yorker, Sedaris has an extremely original, hysterical essay about reluctantly asking Hamrick to marry him for strictly unromantic reasons, A Modest Proposal, a response to the SCOTUS ruling on Marriage Equality on June 26th of this year:
“It occurred to me while standing there, cars whizzing by, that the day I marry is the day I’ll get hit & killed, probably by some driver who’s texting, or, likelier still, sexting. ‘He is survived by his husband, Hugh Hamrick,’ the obituary will read, & before I’m even in my grave I’ll be rolling over in it.”
We always take his Christmas collection Holiday On Ice (1997) off the Sedaris section in the bookcase & casually toss it on the coffee table as part of our tradition. My favorite is selection, Dinah The Christmas Whore, still makes me laugh & cry. It is quintessential Sedaris.
Cool tid-bits about eccentric Sedaris: he holds a keen interest in taxidermy; he does not drive or use the Internet or own a cell phone or an email account. Sedaris:
“I’ve always been convinced I would hit & kill a child, so I don’t drive because I’m afraid. Where I grew up, in Raleigh, you needed a car. I stayed at home a lot, & I had to entertain myself. Ultimately, I think not driving was good for me. & I never learned to type; I type with one finger. So I’ve never worked in an office, which was also probably good for me. As for the Internet, everyone tells me it makes you lose a year. A bread truck will go by, & on the side it says: ‘If you want to learn more about our products, go to www.breadtruck.com.’ Then you’ll go to a computer & look that up. But who cares about bread? Then there’s something else, & something else. I don’t want to lose a year like that. The world is already full of books & magazines.”
I am a fan of the odd little indie film C.O.G. (2013) starring cutie pie Jonathan Groff, whose character is a stand-in for Sedaris, Denis O’Hare & Corey Stoll. The film is based on a Sedaris piece about hitchhiking as a youth to Oregon where he takes a job picking apples.
Essential Sedaris: Barrel Fever (1994), Naked (1997), Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000), Dress Your Family In Corduroy & Denim (2004), When You Are Engulfed In Flames (2008), Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary (2011), & Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls (2013).
I think he is the funniest writer alive.
“If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit & syphilis in the dictionary.”
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